The British Zombie Invasion
by Alan Goldsher
“It’s October 9, 1940, and an undead man haunts the underground sewers of Liverpool, England. Starving and covered with filth, the lone zombie slithers out of a loo located on the ground floor of Liverpool Maternity Hospital. Shuffling from room to room, the hungry being tracks down his prey: a wailing infant whose ripe, fresh brain will fill the raging emptiness in his belly and soul.
That infant’s name? John Lennon.
Fast forward fifteen years, when zombie Lennon, now a burgeoning musician, meets, kills, and reanimates fellow Liverpudlian wannabe-rocker Paul McCartney, creating an unstoppable partnership, and moving one step closer to realizing his dream of global domination. After welcoming newly zombie’d guitarist George Harrison and drummer/Seventh Level Ninja Lord Ringo Starr into the fold, Lennon and McCartney’s band cuts a swath of bloody good music and bloody violent mayhem across Europe, stealing the hearts, minds, ears, and brains of their adoring audiences.
Ladies and gentlemen, it’s time to really meet the Beatles. In Paul is Undead: The British Zombie Invasion, Alan Goldsher’s horror/comedy/rock ‘n’ roll mash-up, we find out the whens, whats, and whys of how the zombified Fab Four took over the world.
After conquering the charts, the Liverpudlian quartet conquers America, all while managing to escape eternal death at the hands of zombie hunter Mick Jagger, an assassination attempt by the most potent Ninja hate group in the United States, and the violent affections of New York City’s most smitten undead girls. The band returns to Europe, where, after some unsuccessful drug experimentation—who knew that LSD caused zombie leprosy?—and the speedy dismemberment of spiritual guru Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, Eighth Level Ninja Lord Yoko Ono enters the fray, and the band spins out of control.
Yes, the Beatles still want to take over the world, but can the lovable, horrifying moptops sublimate their own zombie nature, remain atop the charts, and stay together for all eternity? Nah: they go through a brutal break up, almost destroying Abbey Road Studios in the process. But is this breakup permanent? After all, three of the Fab Four are zombies, and zombies live forever…
Cited as “hilarious” by comedian Michael Ian Black, and “a post-modern gothic classic” by bestselling rock writer Mick Wall, Alan Goldsher’s Paul is Undead answers the question that has plagued Beatles fans and zombie aficionados for decades: How the heck could George Harrison have pulled off that solo on the bridge of “Nowhere Man” when his fingers kept falling off?”